it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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