you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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