I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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