covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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