That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
