I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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