did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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