Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
