she looked like the before picture.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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