Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
