so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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