Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
