i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
