Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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