I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
