I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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