if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
