dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
