bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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