During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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