Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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