yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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