I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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