even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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