Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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