we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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