its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
