That's intense
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
