If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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