Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
