if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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