Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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