Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
