If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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