If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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