she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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