i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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