He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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