Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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