Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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