I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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