hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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