I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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