Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
