Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
