i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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