dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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