I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
