walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
