i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
