How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize